Riddled with confusion and emotion. I have been told by many sources over the last couple of months that a time will come shortly where I will be forced to release some of the toxic emotions that I have carried with me for years from my troubled childhood and the assault and the alcholism and eating disorder and all the complicated years. It seems the harder I strive towards peace with my new daily yoga practice and establishing a relationship with my nana, I find myself withdrawing deeper and deeper within myself. I am finding it hard to connect with people that I normally have no problem connecting with... I feel like... I guess the problem is that I don't really recognize these feelings. There is an aroma of anger and hurt but it is not accompanied by the normal depression it's like there is something growing inside of me and it is big and it is scary and it is something it seems only I can understand.
SOOOOOOOOOO in dealing with all of these tornadoes of emotion I find myself singing along with Tori Amos at the top of my lungs. Normally in my highly emotional states I need to create things in order to feel better but now I have no desire to create anything... it's like I need a larger physical involvement with my expression.
Can anyone relate?