A Rough Night....
I am trying to sleep but unfortunately plaqued by anxiety tonight and unable to. I am weary in body and mind from working so hard over the last year. My vacation is coming up in two weeks and can't get here soon enough. I have never experienced this level of, well it's almost emptiness like I just have nothing left to give my job right now. I could sleep 16 hours a day and it wouldn't be enough to recover and feel recharged again. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. It is just so emotionally demanding and all encompassing and I need a real break.
The trigger for my anxiety tonight was a staff person getting sick and potentially unable to work tommorow. It is so frustrating to have people call out. I know stuff comes up and I am normally tremendously compassionate and accomodating to my staff but again, I just feel like I have nothing left to give and the thought of having to deal with extra aggravation... well it makes me anxious.
I don't know how many of you out there experience anxiety on a regular basis. It is an increadibly frustrating thing to deal with. Anxiety is a truly physical experience for me and detracts me from the things I am doing. I cant concentrate, I cant relax I just get stuck in these perpetual loops. That combined with my absolute weariness to the bone leaves me in quite a state as I am sure you can imagine.
I long for peace of mind